Welcome to my Blog!

This blog is my way of recording events in my life for my own amusement & as a journal of sorts. I really don't expect anyone else to follow this. I am all for DOING, not watching or reading about adventures! However if anything I have done or am talking about doing on here inspires you to "GO FOR IT", then I've done my good deed of the day.


Beginning a new chapter of my life, flying solo after many years of married life, in a new area of my native state, Missouri (MO) & reestablishing a very simple, basic lifestyle on a spot of raw land.


If you've made it this far.....thanks for being interested in what I'm doing & coming along for the ride. I hope you enjoy my stories about my whaz going on in my life. Let our journey begin! Shift colors.

31 December 2014

Finding True North

Great write up from the 'Pray for Calamity' site: http://prayforcalamity.com/?blogsub=subscribed#subscribe-blog


Finding True North

December 22, 2014 § 11 Comments
One of the great dangers of the life indoors, is the anesthetizing effect it has on a person. When we aren’t out in the world, we aren’t present to watch the dying. Attempting to talk about this via an electronic medium, even via the written word at all, is near futile because it requires the symbolic recreation of the tragedy unfolding around us, and the recreation will never carry the weight or the pain of the real thing.
So it comes down to data points. In essays past and in daily editorials available across the electronic press, we are fed the data points. Topsoil lossspecies die off, the toxicity of the oceans, the acceleration of climate change; I can rattle off the data, but who cares?  We are inside.  Climate controlled.  Masters of hundreds of energy slaves all whipped up to provide us with on demand entertainment, comfort, and snack food.  We think we are safe inside our house, but the house is an illusion.  There is no indoor, outdoor dichotomy.  There is a temporary delusion blinding us to the reality of the storm bearing down.
In my previous essay I wrote that we must burn down the collective house that is civilization. We must demolish it thoroughly before the floors buckle and the roof caves in, despite the very real dependence we have developed upon this edifice.  A conundrum indeed, but this conundrum is itself the question of our time, and it calls to all of us whether we are ready to square off with its implications or not.
Industrial civilization is destroying the living skin of the planet. Industrial civilization is rendering life on Earth impossible.  This is inarguable.  The only question then, is what to do.  Where do our responsibilities lie, and how can we meet them with dignity, grace, and courage?
What do you value?  What do you value the most in this world as you experience it?  I think it is imperative that we start with this question because the answer will determine how we perceive our responsibilities as living beings.  I refer to this as finding one’s polestar; their true north. Finding our pole star is essential because it is very easy to get entangled in the complexity of our culture, our socialization, our class status, and all of the other baggage we carry from lifetime after lifetime of trauma inflicted by the dominant culture.  When we need reorientation, we come about to our true north, and keep from running wayward into the noise and distraction intentionally laid to ensnare the passionate.
My pole star is the healthy, fecund forest. I live in a wooded region, and when I look out my front door I see tree covered ravines.  Beech, hickory, oak, maple, all stand stoically about me, their leaves blanketing and feeding the soil.  I never feel so honest, so at home, so centered as when I stand in the deep blue dark of night, jacketed in the electric stillness of winter, staring up to the stars that peek through the tangled black fingers of the naked tree boughs.  In those moments I feel whole, because I feel like part of a whole.  My ancestors call to me from the past as they most certainly stood in the same pose of supplication, lost in wonder, and gratitude, and mystery.
This is where I go when I seek an ethical thread to follow through the spiritual and psychological quagmire of modern industrial civilization.   When I look at the activities of humans, I ask what they mean for the forests.  Not just my forest home, but for the forest homes of people and beings across the Earth. I ask if new technologies, or policies, or commercial activities will benefit these havens of life and solitude, or if they threaten them.  I imagine the creeks and rivers that run through this region like blood in my veins, and usually the answer comes back to me that, no, the grand schemes of civilized man offer nothing good. They seek only to take, never to give back.  They promise to dominate and ruin, and that is what they do.
When concrete is laid over what was once a field so that suburbanites can park their vehicles at a new strip of retail stores, the deep roots of plants do not surrender.  Look to any patch of asphalt and you will find the rebellion under way.  Grass, dock, wild onion, dandelion; they slowly crack and push through the rubble and road surface above them until they find their place in the sunlight once again.  When under attack, these plants merely do what they must do to go about the business of living.
What fascinates me is that when hundreds or thousands of enraged people burn down the corporate chain stores that encircle them like army wagons on the frontier, these rioters are condemned. Spokespeople for the status quo feign innocent stupidity and ask, “Why are they burning down their own communities?” as if the concrete that is laid over the poor and working class is somehow their kin. Setting police cruisers and corporate chain stores alight is merely what these people must do to go about the business of living, whether this is consciously perceived or not.
The hierarchy of power that exists in this social paradigm attempts to mystify the public with language of togetherness when it suits them. They speak down to the lower orders as if we are one unit, one family, one tribe, each of us working together for the equal betterment of all. The actions of the powerful betray the truth, that those lower on the social hierarchy will labor, toil, suffer, and die for the comfort, power, and privilege of those at the top.
This is the framework by which responsibility is discussed within our society.  If a man robs a store and is sent to prison for it, it is said that he is there to “pay his debt to society.”  There are several implications in this statement surrounding the notion that this man was ever part of society to begin with, or that he desires to remain so.  Of course, if he was robbing a store to pay his rent, keep the heat on, or feed his family, there will never be statements from the powerful to the effect that society failed this man, this valuable member of our collective, and forced him through circumstance to his act.  Society will never pay its debt to this man, or to any man of his social rank. The idea that we are all daily electing to be in one cooperative social structure together is a pure fabrication.
As so often happens, officers of the state apparatus commit egregious violence, whether as police or soldiers, and their personal responsibility is almost never called into question.  The only time an individual police officer or soldier is made to fall on their sword, is when their crime is so blatant, so heinous, and so public, that to not punish them would crack the façade of the entire control apparatus.  By and large, these officers of the state do violence as a mode of day to day operations, all for the acquisition and maintenance of wealth and power as it exists and is distributed.
However, any actions deemed antagonistic to the structure of power and wealth will be vociferously condemned, and the perpetrators will be held liable for all knock on effects of these actions.  For instance, if in an attempt to preserve the health and sanctity of one’s home, a person destroys the power sub station that operates the pumps for a tar sand pipeline that runs under their land, and this outage causes a cascade black out to follow suit, the state will likely hold responsible this person for any deaths or injuries that occur due to the lack of electricity that has resulted.  If an old woman on a hospital respirator dies, the person who knocked out the sub station will likely be charged with manslaughter, if not murder.  They will be called a terrorist. Anyone whose ideologies are even remotely similar to this person’s will also be labeled a terrorist, worthy of suspicion.
In short, this is the Law.  People speak of the Law in moralistic terms, as if the volumes of clumsy codes and commands cobbled together by and for the wealthy were gifted to us by a choir of angels designed on building for us a just and balanced world.  Of course, the Law is nothing of the sort.  The Law has nothing to do with morals or ethics, as the bulk of the weight of the laws as they exist purpose to extort and exploit the poor for the powerful.  Leaning on the law as an ethical or moral litmus is such a high form of laziness and ignorance as to be shameful.
This is the wall that encircles those of us who wish to see an end to the current order of power.  We will be held to the highest account for the slightest ill that comes from any of our deeds, and the Law will be invoked in punishing even the most tepid of social activists.  Meanwhile, an Airforce technician in a bunker willkill families thousands of miles away with hellfire missiles, and we will never know this person’s name. They will never be condemned for the deaths they directly and intentionally cause. In fact, they will be heralded and rewarded. Their efforts furthered the efforts of the machine of industrial civilization.  They are on the team.  Doctors designed torture programs for the CIA.  Scientists design weaponized viruses.  Capitalists pour heavy metals into rivers and continue cutting boreal forest to extract tar sand despite the globally acknowledged threat of climate catastrophe.
These people are all protected.  Even attempting to slow them down in their work is a crime. The truth laid bare is that they have a sanctioned right to bring death, and you have no right to try to prevent them, whether violently or not.
It’s not about who you kill, it’s about who you kill for.
The police are on standby in any event, ready to gleefully dole out violence to even the most passive demonstrator. Any flinch, parry, or brush of a hand that can be deemed an attack on the police, of course, will result in charges, possibly felonies. The guardians of power too, are a protected class, so much so that in some places even passively ignoring police is classed as a felony.
The message is clear.  This world doesn’t belong to us, but to them. We are a society in name only.  Language about unity and country are pap for the masses.  Those who don’t swallow it down get the club, or the bullet.  But don’t worry, the comments section is still open.  Feel free to air your frustrations beneath the article.  Hashtag, give-up-already.
In the cold night air my breath is visible.  Darkness comes early as we approach the solstice.  When I scan over the ridge, I feel a peace in the center of my being.  There are those who think this is all that is left. They say that we have already lost the big fights, and now all that remains is to hold close to those you love as the dying picks up speed, and the maniacs in power continue throttling forward.
I cannot help but feel that such placid thoughts, wherever they may be rooted, are an appeasement to the powerful.  My blog wouldn’t be named “Pray for Calamity” if I didn’t believe that things would get worse before they got better.  But I also know that without question I would die for my family and for our home, and thinking this opens me to the idea that there are so many great places and causes to die for on this planet at this time.  Perhaps its time to stop seeing this as an age of impending calamity, but instead to see it as an age of opportunity to banish our fears, cage our egos, and to remember that death comes for us all, and that the greatest shame would be to waste our flesh when there are so many perfect targets for our rage. Perhaps we should begin to recognize this as an age of awakening; a time to reignite an internal fire that an oppressive and abusive culture has devoted so much energy to snuffing out.
So I ask, what is your pole star?  What is your true north?  What do you know in the center of your being to be good, and right, and true?  The dominant culture attempts to bend the mind and break the heart, until all that is left is the fetishization of power.  Domesticated, isolated, institutionalized, traumatized people begin to believe that their responsibilities are to the dominant system of buying, selling, killing, producing, and ever increasing efficiency at all of them.
I submit that these are not my responsibilities, and they are not yours.  I submit that none of the language they weaponize and fire so readily at dissenting voices is applicable.  We are not malcontents, radicals, insurgents, or terrorists.  We are dandelions who do not wish to bend to the will of the concrete poured over us.
And when we are ready to remember all of this, we are warriors.

Long-Term Solo Travel for Women

Long-Term Solo Travel for Women

16 profound ways it will change how you see yourself - and the world. 

Solo travel for women. Traveling alone. Independent female travel. Going round the world. Taking a gap year. Call it what you will. If you've tried it, you know it can change your life. If you haven't, get ready for the ride.

Those of us who have spent significant time solo on the road may not realize how much it can change us.  After years of travel, everything began to look different. Some things that had mattered before just fell off my radar screen. Others I hadn't even thought of took a front-row seat.

If you travel for any length of time with only yourself for company, these things might happen to you...

1. You will become more self-sufficient.
If you lacked independence or self-confidence, solo travel will make you more self-sufficient. You will cope with situations you hadn't even dreamed of before, like finding your way out of a hostile place or being lost. Even if you don't know a word of the language, you'll find a way to communicate. You'll use your arms and hands, pull out your high school French or hand over a map. You'll figure it out. You'll learn to cope because you'll have no alternative. And if you get into trouble, you'll find a way out. You'll trust your instincts more.

2. You'll learn to relax and take things as they come.
You'll become more flexible. Instead of getting upset when things don't happen as or when they should, you'll learn to go with the flow. Many cultures have a saying: No Worries, or something similar. You'll learn to make that motto your own.

3. Your sense of proportion will change.
Little things won't bother you anymore. No bus? No problem. You'll travel tomorrow. Or next week. No money? No problem. Something will work out. Someone takes your seat? Jumps the line? Too insignificant to matter.

4. You'll become stronger.
You'll learn to push your limits and step our of your comfort zone. Solo travel isn't always easy for women - but you'll overcome problems more quickly. Things that might scare you - like dining out alone - will become second nature. Perhaps you'll use your travel to stretch yourself in other ways - by joining an ashram or kibbutz or other unfamiliar environment. You may even thrive on the challenge.

5. You will learn a lot of things.
You'll be learning new things every day - words and phrases in a foreign language, how people live, what they eat, how they treat one another...  or learning to meditate or do yoga or write or paint. Your learning may be more mundane - accepting to try new foods or to wear different clothes. Politics and history will become real for you rather than something you read about or watch on TV.

6. You'll learn to take care of yourself.
If you used to run to the doctor every time you experienced mild pain, this will change. You'll learn to take care of your own health, especially in rural areas where medical care may be non-existent. Don't neglect your travel insurance or first aid kit checklist, but learn a few basics about how to deal with illness when no one else is around. You'll feel more empowered if you know you can face health issues with knowledge and confidence, at least until you can get yourself to a doctor.

7. Time will shift.
Our everyday lives tend to be filled with impatience - when the bus runs a few minutes late or the restaurant table isn't ready on time... solo travel changes all that. In many societies, time is measured in days or weeks, not in minutes or hours. As you travel, your sense of time will change. If someone's late, they probably had a reason. You'll find out in due time. If someone doesn't show up, you'll see them another day. Rather than concentrating on what you don't have, you'll be focusing on the day, on 'what's next'.

8. You'll have greater empathy.
You've often heard that poverty means living on less than $2 a day. As you travel solo and pay more attention, you'll understand the word poverty in a different way. Rather than watch it on television, you'll be breathing the stale air of indoor wood fires or watching children vie for food. Rather than an abstract concept, you'll witness the daily fight of millions just to stay alive. And that will change you forever.

9. Solo travel helps you meet new people.
Whether you're a loner or a social butterfly, you'll have no choice - you'll constantly be meeting people. They might be fellow travelers or local people on the bus, but each day you'll add to the number of people you've met. And it will feel as natural as stepping outside. Some of these people will remain passing acquaintances - but others will become lifelong friends, connected by moments shared.

10. You'll be more open to the world.
If you're an outgoing or extroverted person, you'll put those traits to good use and expand them. But if you're the slightest bit quiet or shy, traveling on your own will change all that. You'll enjoy the similarities you share with others rather than focus on your differences, and learn how to accept what's around you more easily.

11. Little things will take on more value.
Your life may become more filled with little things that matter. The smaller gestures - a smile, a helping hand - these are the things you'll be exchanging with people on the road. Perhaps you had less time for these small gestures back home but on the road, they will take on new meaning and happen more often.

12. You'll learn to love your own company (if you don't already).
There's nothing like solo travel for women to make you enjoy your own company. Part of it is the empowerment of traveling on your own but also the sheer number of people you meet - you'll begin to appreciate your solitude. Women who worry about loneliness shouldn't - it's usually a question of too many people rather than not enough.

13. You'll do without the extras.
You may have thought they were essentials - television, computer, theater, cellphones, shopping malls, regular nights out, a car... Once you get used to living without many of these things - and you will if you're on the road for any length of time - you'll genuinely adapt, and start appreciating what you have as opposed to missing what you don't.

14. You'll be less fearful.
What once looked daunting may become commonplace. If you've been afraid of things - creepy crawlies, unusual food, rickety planes and leaky boats - your fears will probably subside. After a few rides on rusty planes, anything with a working engine was OK by me. Same with small reptiles. Those harmless little green geckoes that run across your ceiling in tropical countries never actually fall off - but they eat all the mosquitoes so in time I actually learned to like them.

15. Many of your prejudices will get a shakeup.
On my own out there, I was rarely part of a majority. Being white in Africa or black in Eastern Europe or a woman on her own in a patriarchal country will give you a different perspective on prejudice and minorities. It's easy to forget these issues when you're surrounded by people who share similar outlooks and standards but you might be surprised at how things look from other perspectives.

16. You'll truly appreciate what you left behind.
If you left home because you weren't happy, you may find a lot of the bad memories begin to fade with time. Perhaps you hated your job - but at least you were able to have one. Your rent might have been high - but you had a roof over your head. You may have disliked certain foods - but there was always a supermarket around the corner where something else was available. Your family may have nagged you - but you may miss them on the road. Whatever your complaints back then, you'll probably start appreciating some of the things you left behind.


Not all of these things will happen to you - but there's no question that as a woman, solo travel will change you. 

Last day of 2014



Today is the last day of 2014. Reflecting back on this last year, I must say 2014 was not one of my favorite years.

-The US is still at war. 
-The economy remains in the gutter.  
-Our gov't is run by ignorant people, who's primary goals are a lusting after "power". 
-Our emotional & maturity capital is shot. 
-Many citizens are chronically unemployed or underemployed. 
-Many 'millennials' (defined as those with, "...birth years ranging from the early 1980s to the early 2000s.) don't care that they are not working. (This will last only until they are weaned off their parents' financial tits.) In all fairness to them, others have also given up because there aren't any decent jobs out there.
-Climate change is gaining momentum while efforts to mitigate this impact languish in a muddy sea of propaganda.

So whats someone that strives to have as clear a vision of 'reality'  as possible to do?




As for me, I am going to draw inward-deliberately. 

I may not be able to effect public policy. I may not be able to stop the US war machine. I can not stop climate change. But I can contribute to my own perception. And I want this next year to be more positive, less sad. 

My goals for 2015 are:

-Take better care of myself. Exercise, eat better & provide myself the same advice, care, time, that I would my very best friend. And this time I REALLY intend to DO IT!

-Deliberately down scale. Think local. Concentrate on improving my little corner of the world. Admittedly, I have no hope for the world. Most people are too complex, selfish, short-sighted.

-Grow that garden I've always envisioned. Strive to be ever more self-reliant. 

-Remember I am not a Social Worker! No one really wants another person's advice. And others' problems are not mine. Not my circus, not my monkeys!

-Regularly plan & schedule activities I like by deliberately adding them to my calendar. Why not go fishing or get out onto a river once a month or a week? Where will I go this year on my motorcycle!? Think of all the life possibilities!!!!

-Practice an attitude of gratitude. Not let what I don't have overshadow what I DO have!

-Savor each day. Everything is finite & someday I won't be here to see my grandson's smile.

-Reflect on how far I've progressed in my personal goals but don't be afraid to reinvent myself if I've outgrown something. The only thing that stays the same is change. 

Thinking back on this past year, I haven't really given myself any credit for the growth achieved this year. Pause for thought.....Yes, this year hasn't been a waste. In fact, I feel more positive about the future today than I've felt in years. Could it be I've finally turned a corner?

I have grown, changed & matured in a positive direction. Friendships have deepened & others have waned but this is a natural cycle of life. Remember the adage of not making those that consider you an option, a priority in your life.



Conclusion....positive growth & forward movement was achieved in 2014. And this next year can be as full of possibilities as I let it be!

Unfortunately I have no optimistic expectations for future world events. I expect no action on any governments part to mitigate climate change or to implement any real changes to business as usual. We will be lemmings marched off the proverbial cliff & tragically, those with this predominant mindset will drag us that do not agree with them, off the cliff, with them. But today is a good day to die.

Fortunately, I live my life as if every day is my last so there are few words remaining to be said or actions left undone. I can continue to deepen my existing relationships & withdraw from the insanity of what seems to comprise society.

So Happy New Year to Self! Here's to moving forward in personal growth & all of the life possibilities out there!!




12 Ways to Heal Family Relationships for the Holidays

Are You More Awake Than Your Family? 

10th December 2014
Guest Writer for Wake Up World

We are all waking up! The problem is, we are each waking up at different rates. This is particularly challenging when it occurs within families.
If you are reading this, chances are you are more awake than others in your family, and maybe this presents some issues for the holidays. After all, when you are awake, it can be super difficult to deal with family members, such as parents, siblings and in-laws, who are still sleeping, especially when our habitual reactions cause us to go unconscious; showing us where we are still asleep ourselves.
The key to healing our families is not in trying to wake them up, but rather in staying awake ourselves.
If you are fortunate to be more awake than others in your family, what does it take to stay awake in the presence of sleepy individuals?
Know Your Hook
We all have emotional hooks that when pulled enroll us back into old dynamics, causing us to fall back to sleep and forget who we really are. A hook can be an old issue or a current issue, and when this issue is activated in any way, you are hooked into reacting. If you can identify your personal hooks, you can also consciously choose to stay far away from these topics, and if someone else brings them up, you can consciously choose not to be hooked. Take a deep breath, go for a walk, or do whatever it takes to stay off the hook.
Don’t Hook Anyone Else
Let’s be honest, we all know what hooks our family members into reactions. We know their buttons and we know how to press them. But, where does that get us? If we are really awake, it doesn’t get us anywhere. In fact, activating the wounds of someone else, just to get a sense of power or revenge, or even just perpetuating an old habit, keeps you asleep. When we are awake, we no longer need to get reactions out of others. What would happen if you just let those you love and care about off the hook?
12 Ways to Heal Family Relationships
Here are 12 powerful ways to recognize our hooks and heal our relationships:
Unfulfilled Emotional Needs
Most of us leave childhood with unfulfilled emotional needs and many of us continue to look to our parents or siblings for the fulfillment of those emotional needs, well past their expiration date. When you look to any family member for approval, appreciation or acknowledgement, you set yourself, and them, up for disappointment. In order to stay awake, it is pivotal that you stop expecting others to meet your emotional needs.
If you are an adult and you are still seeking your dad’s approval, for example, you are likely entangled in a dynamic that keeps you both asleep. Waking up from this dynamic means releasing your dad by no longer needing him to give you approval. In the wakeful state, we fulfill our own emotional needs so that we no longer need others to do it for us
Own Your Reactions
When you negatively react to a family member because you believe he or she “hasn’t changed” or “doesn’t get it,” you immediately go back to sleep. You cannot adversely react to another without lowering your personal vibration, and vibrating at the level of the one in which you judge. Usually we react because we recognize something in someone else that we resist in ourselves. By identifying the real issue in us, we access an opportunity for self-healing.
Release Expectations
Every time we have hidden or overt expectations of another, we create conflict in the relationship. When it comes to our primary family, often these expectations are childhood based and even though we are no longer children, we maintain these expectations and the expectations unconsciously run us, by negatively affecting our behavior. Releasing expectations is like unlocking the prison door from the inside.
Let Go of Responsibility
Much of family strife comes from believing that we are responsible for each other. As soon as you believe that you are responsible for a family member, even a younger sibling, you distort the balance of the relationship, and you create underlying contention. You cannot control how others view you, but you can release your sense of responsibility for others in your family. You are not responsible for your parents or your adult siblings. This one shift in perspective has the power to transform family dynamics.
Judgment is Not Caring
Because we want what is best for those we love, we often disguise judgment in the form of caring. But judgment is not caring. No matter how much you love someone, you really don’t know what is best for them. You also cannot expect others to learn from your mistakes, so don’t impose your self-judgment onto them. Judgment is the quickest way to separate us from another and create friction. Keep your advice to yourself, and trust that the same source that woke you up will awaken those you love.
Get Over the Power Struggle
Most families have some form a power struggle operating between family members. A great deal of the discord in families is the playing-out of this power struggle. If you are still struggling for power in your family, this is where you are still asleep. The good news is, only one person needs to give up the power struggle for the power struggle to end. You overcome the power struggle by owning your power and not giving it to anyone or trying to get it from anyone. Drop the tug-of-war rope, and everyone wins.
Stop Living in the Past
You cannot be awake and living in the past at the same time. If you find yourself dealing with past issues in your family, it is only because these past issues are not resolved personally for you. When past issues come up, it is your opportunity to wake up and heal them.
Forgiveness Frees
Releasing the past and dealing with areas of your life where you are still asleep often requires some level of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone another’s behavior. It simply means that you are willing to let go and rise above the issue. Remember, the reason why it is difficult to forgive someone is the core of your issue. Heal your issue, and forgiveness is easy. From the awakened state, we know that it is never about anyone else.
Practice Appreciation
It can be so easy to focus on the things that annoy us about each other, but there are just as many things to appreciate about each other. When your intention is appreciation of those you love, your attention is automatically directed to all the things that you can appreciate. Your focus determines the outcome of all interactions. From an asleep state, we focus on what is wrong. From an awakened state, appreciation is our inner guide.
Allow Others to Be Who They Are
Contrary to popular belief, you don’t really need to accept anything about anyone else. In fact, when we force ourselves to accept others, there is always an element of non-acceptance that we are fighting against. So instead of forcing acceptance, simply allow others to be. It’s like allowing the sun to rise and set. There is nothing you can do about it even if you wanted to. By allowing others to be who they are without trying to change them, resistance is dropped and the energy between the two of you clears – bringing you both to a higher level of connection.
My mom and I had a turbulent relationship for many years. I thought I was so awake and I would try to wake her up, which only added up to frustration and disappointment for both of us. Finally, one day, I really woke up – I realized my mom was never going to change, and she didn’t have to. I could love her exactly as she was, even if she was trying to change me to match her expectations! So that’s what I did – without telling my mom, I made a commitment to myself to unconditionally love her without needing or wanting her to change. She could just be who she was and she could be exactly where she was in life; even what she thought about me was no longer any of my business.
It was as if I had found a secret magic wand, because within days of making this conscious choice, my relationship with my mom was completely and permanently transformed. By releasing judgment, I had let my mom off the hook, and as a result the way she showed up with me was completely different – and uplifting. What I had failed to recognize previously was that my judgment of her was keeping her asleep in my consciousness. The only one who had to wake up was me.
The Magic of Letting Go
When all else fails, simply let go. Let go of all your opinions, fears, judgments, past baggage and everything else that weighs you down. By universally letting go of everything, you are left with being present in the now. When you are present in the now, you are awake, and then it doesn’t matter what anyone does or says. It is all harmoniously perfect.
Invite Others Up
It is our human tendency to meet people “where they are.” If someone is angry or upset, we quickly match their energy – even if we are in resistance to it, we are still matching it. What would happen if you made a conscious choice to maintain a high energy and not compromise that energy for anyone or anything? In other words, what would happen if you rise above the disharmony until you reach a state of love, peace and appreciation, and commit to that state of being?
When others show up in lower states, you don’t go down to meet them, by reacting, judging or trying to change them. You maintain your high state and you invite them up. They may not come up, and that is okay, but they won’t be able to be in your presence, for very long, if they don’t. Either way, how you feel is not dependent on anyone or anything, and you maintain an awakened state without compromise.
When you consistently stay in integrity with who you really are, eventually you will reach an energetic threshold, where the people in your world do, in fact, come up to match your high vibration. This is the manifestation of living in the awakened state, and it is our greatest gift to those we love.


Be awake, stay awake and invite the world up to celebrate with you.

27 December 2014

How to start a 1-acre, self-sustaining homestead

How to start a 1-acre, self-sustaining homestead

(Mother Earth News) Expert advice on how to establish self-sufficient food production, including guidance on crop rotations, raising livestock and grazing management. Your 1-acre homestead can be divided into land for raising livestock and a garden for raising fruits, vegetables, plus some grain and forage crops. Illustration by: Dorling Kindersley

Everyone will have a different approach to keeping a self-sufficient homestead, and it’s unlikely that any two1-acre farms will follow the same plan or methods or agree completely on how to homestead. Some people like cows; other people are afraid of them. Some people like goats; other people cannot keep them out of the garden. Some people will not slaughter animals and have to sell their surplus stock off to people who will kill them; others will not sell surplus stock off at all because they know that the animals will be killed; and still others will slaughter their own animals to provide their family with healthy meat.

For myself, on a 1-acre farm of good, well-drained land, I would keep a cow and a goat, a few pigs and maybe a dozen hens. The goat would provide me with milk when the cow was dry. I might keep two or more goats, in fact. I would have the dairy cow (a Jersey) to provide the pigs and me with milk. More importantly, I would keep her to provide heaps and heaps of lovely cow manure to increase my soil fertility, for in order to derive any sort of living from that 1 acre without the application of a lot of artificial fertilizer, it would have to be heavily manured.

RAISING A DAIRY COW

Cow or no cow? The pros and cons are many and various for a self-sufficient homestead. In favor of raising a cow is the fact that nothing keeps the health of a family — and a farm — at a high level better than a dairy cow. If you and your children have ample good, fresh, unpasteurized, unadulterated dairy products, you will be well-positioned to be a healthy family. If your pigs and poultry get their share of the milk by-products, especially whey, they likely will be healthy, too. If your garden gets plenty of cow manure, your soil fertility will continuously increase, along with your yields.

On the other hand, the food that you buy in for this family cow will cost you hundreds of dollars each year. Compared with how much money you would spend on dairy products each year, the fresh milk supply from the cow plus the increased value of the eggs, poultry and pig meat that you will get, along with your ever-growing soil fertility, will quickly make a family cow a worthwhile investment. But a serious counter-consideration is that you will have to take on the responsibility of milking a cow. (For different milking plans and estimated savings, see Keep a Family Cow and Enjoy Delicious Milk, Cream, Cheese and More.) Milking a cow doesn’t take very long — perhaps eight minutes — and it’s very pleasant if you know how to do it and if she is a quiet, docile cow — but you will have to do it. Buying a dairy cow is a very important step, and you shouldn’t do it unless you do not intend to go away very much, or unless you can make arrangements for somebody else to take over your milking duties while you’re gone. So let’s plan our 1-acre farm on the assumption that we are going to keep a dairy cow.

1-ACRE FARM WITH A FAMILY COW

Half of your land would be put down to grass, leaving half an acre arable (not allowing for the land on which the house and other buildings stand). The grass half could remain permanent pasture and never be plowed up at all, or you could plan crop rotations by plowing it up, say, every four years. If you do the latter, it is best done in strips of a quarter of the half-acre so that each year you’re planting a grass, clover and herb mixture on an eighth of your acre of land. This crop rotation will result in some freshly sown pasture every year, some 2-year-old field, some 3-year-old field and some 4-year-old field, resulting in more productive land.

GRAZING MANAGEMENT

At the first sign the grass patch is suffering from overgrazing, take the cow away. The point of strip grazing (also called intensive rotational grazing) is that grass grows better and produces more if it is allowed to grow for as long as possible before being grazed or cut all the way down, and then allowed to rest again. In such intensive husbandry as we are envisaging for this self-sufficient homestead, careful grazing management will be essential.

Tether-grazing on such a small area may work better than using electric fencing. A little Jersey cow quickly gets used to being tethered and this was, indeed, the system that the breed was developed for on the island of Jersey (where they were first bred). I so unequivocally recommend a Jersey cow to the 1-acre farmer because I am convinced that, for this purpose, she is without any peer. Your half-acre of grass, when established, should provide your cow with nearly all the food she needs for the summer months. You are unlikely to get any hay from the half-acre as well, but if the grass grows faster than the cow can eat it, then you could cut some of it for hay.

INTENSIVE GARDENING

The remaining half of your homestead — the arable half — would be farmed as a highly intensivegarden. It would be divided, ideally, into four plots, around which all the annual crops that you want to grow follow each other in a strict crop rotation.

An ideal crop rotation might go something like this:

— Grass (for four years)
— Plot 1: Potatoes
— Plot 2: Legumes (pea and bean family)
— Plot 3: Brassicas (cabbage family)
— Plot 4: Root vegetables (carrots, beets, and so on)
— Grass again (for four years)

Consider the advantages of this kind of crop rotation. A quarter of your arable land will be a newly plowed-up, 4-year-old field every year, with intensely fertile soil because of the stored-up fertility of all the grass, clover and herbs that have just been plowed-in to rot with four summers’ worth of cow manure. Because your cow will be in-wintered, on bought-in hay, and treading and dunging on bought-in straw, you will have an enormous quantity of marvelous muck and cow manure to put on your arable land. All of the crop residues that you cannot consume will help feed the cow, pigs or poultry, and I would be surprised if, after following this crop rotation and grazing management plan for a few years, you didn’t find that your acre of land had increased enormously in soil fertility, and that it was producing more food for humans than many a 10-acre farm run on ordinary commercial lines.

HALF-ACRE CROP ROTATION

Some might complain that by having half your acre down to grass, you confine your gardening activities to a mere half-acre. But actually, half an acre is quite a lot, and if you garden it well, it will grow more food for you than if you were to “scratch” over a whole acre. Being under grass (and grazed and dunged) for half of its life will enormously increase the half-acre’s soil fertility. I think you will actually grow more vegetables on this plot than you would on a whole acre if you had no cow or grass break.

TIPS FOR THE SELF-SUFFICIENT HOMESTEAD

A dairy cow will not be able to stay outdoors all year. She would horribly overgraze such a small acreage. She should spend most of the winter indoors, only being turned out during the daytime in dry weather to get a little exercise and fresh air. Cows do not really benefit from being out in winter weather. Your cow would be, for the most part, better if kept inside where she would make lovely manure while feeding on the crops you grew for her in the garden. In the summer you would let her out, night and day, for as long as you find the pasture is not being overgrazed. You would probably find that your cow did not need hay at all during the summer, but she would be entirely dependent on it throughout the winter, and you could plan on having to buy her at least a ton. If you wanted to rear her yearly calf until he reached some value, you would likely need a further half-ton of hay. I have kept my cow on deep litter: The layer of straw gets turned into good manure, and I add more clean straw every day. I have milked a cow this way for years, and the perfect milk made good butter and cheese, and stored well. Although more labor-intensive, you could keep your cow on a concrete floor instead (insulated if possible), and giver her a good bed of straw every day. You would remove the soiled straw daily, and carefully pile it into a muck heap that would be your fount of fertility for everything on your acre.

Pigs would have to be confined in a house for at least part of the year (and you would need to provide straw for them), because, on a 1-acre farm, you are unlikely to have enough fresh land to keep them healthy. The best option would be a movable house with a strong movable fence outside it, but you could have a permanent pigpen instead.

The pigs would have a lot of outdoor work to do: They would spend part of their time plowing up your eighth of an acre of grassland, and they could run over your cultivated land after you have harvested your crops. They could only do this if you had time to let them do it, as sometimes you would be in too much of a hurry to get the next crop in. As for food, you would have to buy in some wheat, barley or corn. This, supplemented with the skim milk and whey you would have from your dairy cow, plus a share of the garden produce and such specially grown fodder crops as you could spare the land for, would keep them excellently.

If you could find a neighbor who would let you use a boar, I recommend that you keep a sow and breed her. She could give you 20 piglets a year, two or three of which you could keep to fatten for your bacon and ham supply. The rest you could sell as weanlings (piglets eight to 12 weeks old), and they would probably bring in enough money to pay for the food you had to buy for all your other livestock. If you could not get the service of a boar, you could always buy weanlings yourself — just enough for your own use — and fatten them.

Poultry could be kept in a permanent house in one corner of your garden, or, preferably, in mobile coops on the land, so they could be moved over the grassland and improve soil fertility with their scratching and dunging. I would not recommend keeping very many birds, as just a dozen hens should give you enough eggs for a small family with a few to occasionally sell or give away in summertime. You would have to buy a little grain for them, and in the winter some protein supplement, unless you could grow enough beans. You could try growing sunflowers, buckwheat or other food especially for them.

Goats, if kept instead of a dairy cow (or in addition to), could be managed in much the same way, however you would not have as much whey and skim milk to rear pigs and poultry on, and you would not build up the fertility of your land as quickly as you could with a cow. You would only get a fraction of the manure from goats, but on the other hand you would not have to buy nearly as much hay and straw — perhaps not any. For a farmer wanting to have a completely self-sufficient homestead on 1 acre, dairy goats are a good option.

Crops would be all of the ordinary garden crops (fruits and vegetables), plus as much land as you could spare for fodder crops for animals. Bear in mind that practically any garden crop that you grew for yourself would be good for the animals too, so any surplus crops would go to them. You would not need a compost pile — your animals could be your compost pile.

Half an acre, farmed as a garden with wheat grown in the other half-acre, is worth a try if you kept no animals at all, or maybe only some poultry. You would then practice a crop rotation as described above, but substitute wheat for the grass and clover field. If you are a vegetarian, this may be quite a good solution. But you could not hope to increase the soil fertility, and therefore the productiveness, of your land as much as with animals.
- See more at: http://www.thrive-living.net/2014/12/how-to-start-1-acre-self-sustaining-homstead.html#sthash.10246nS2.dpuf

Relationships: The Costs of Staying When We Should Leave

Relationships: The Costs of Staying When We Should Leave




11th August 2014
By Jack Adam Weber L.Ac., Dipl. C.H.
Contributing Writer for Wake Up World
To stay in a relationship that doesn’t work, with someone whose integrity is significantly lacking, creates a downward spiral. It is hurtful to every aspect of our health, and is bad for the planet. What follows below is not a black and white account, so consider it to the degree that it feels true.
In our gut I think we know if a relationship doesn’t work, especially if we got into it (as we often do) for the sex, comfort, apathy, or our own loneliness. Yet, too often the fear, sadness, anger, and other difficult emotions we might have to face prevent us from leaving. Yet these are the same emotional places we denied to begin with, which, if we had faced and worked with them, could have prevented us from being frivolous with our precious hearts.
The inevitable result of fearing feeling our emotional pain is that we lie to ourselves — at the beginning, during, and at the end of a relationship. We have to ignore our guts, our bodies, its depths. We shut down a big part of our hearts to stay in denial. We sacrifice our own integrity to stay.
We become more of a taker than a giver because we have not found a way to be fulfilled by our own creative expression, because we have blocked this channel through the perpetual distraction of uncontrollable emotional codependency and acting out of old patterns.
As a result, our lives become superficial and anxiety-ridden. We cut ourselves off from the life-source of our bellies, from the creativity there, from our truth, from true security — all of which, in their fuller blossoming, lie at the transformed other end of our difficult emotions.
When we lie to ourselves, we become cold to other people, and uncaring, because we are being uncaring to ourselves. We become irritable and angry and selfish… because in our truth of truths we know we are not leaving what does not work, and we think we cannot. We cut ourselves off from the essence of life, which is to pursue a life that is honest, clear, and which calls to us from the very place we shut down in our fear. To lose track of one’s calling in life is to suffer greatly. Even if one cannot live it out, to honestly hear and to know that calling, is nourishing and comforting.
To get to this honesty is hard work. That’s why we deny it. But the joy of freedom, to be able to sit with oneself, quietly, and feel a deep “yes” is irreplaceable.
When we ignore our deep truth, we become addicts and act like addicts, unable to save ourselves from what doesn’t work. If this persists long enough, we develop other addictions and soon may altogether lose our compass in life. When we lose our compass we produce trash, on many levels. The saying goes…
“A true act leaves no wake.”
This is only one example demonstrating the downward cycle that results, ironically, from not facing our own pain and allowing ourselves to be transformed by it. This is the death that renews us. In denying this symbolic death, we make of our lives a living death, even if we are shiny on the outside. Yet we know inside if we are living a lie. We may be the only ones who know. And, that is enough. We are also the only ones who need to know if we are living truthfully. What everyone else sees and cares about means nothing, if we are lying. If they appreciate us, we can’t let in deeply because we are living a lie.
When we ignore the dark, our lives become haunted. Our light is fear-ridden, fickle, and flimsy. Our love becomes make-believe.
The way back is to follow our guts, what we know to be right, and endure all the difficult emotions that prevented us from doing what is right, from living honestly and wisely. Sometimes it takes years of denial and suffering until finally we are ready. It is never too late, though it becomes harder the more fake lives and substitute pleasures we heap on top of our initial denials.
There is no pleasure greater than living a deeply honest life, of following our truest callings. This is inner richness. It is worth more than all the superficial riches we acquired by lying, because we cannot enjoy those riches when our hearts are closed and shame-ridden, and our guts clogged with fear of facing the quiet truth inside.
To create a rich life, we must keep our hearts and our bellies clear, which means to live honestly and fiercely courageously, which includes being willing to deal with the most difficult feelings and journeys.
So, if this speaks enough to you, maybe today is the day you will begin to let go of what doesn’t work. Maybe today is the beginning of a new life, with yourself first — of letting the floodgates of freedom open again, and enduring all the muddy water until it runs clear again, which it will, because this is the gift of a true heart, from which emerge your gifts to the world, as the universe and all its supporting graces becomes yours again.
As a river has a natural course, so do our callings, our soul’s path. But this does not mean that we don’t have to do lots of paddling. It means we have to do more, which beats sinking and pretending to be afloat, anyway.
Once the water runs clear, we are more careful and ever-cautious not to pollute our lives by getting into and staying in situations that we know are wrong for us. We are more interested in using that energy to be effective in the world.
The more honest we become, the clearer and more caring our lives and actions become. And this allows us to be more aware of what is right for us, which in turn keeps us, and our relations, healthier. This is the upward spiral, rooted in honest connection with our depths, our deepest callings, the ground of life.
Caveat
To be fair, we are all complicated. We should not expect relationships to be any different. If we do, then this is likely our “grass is always greener” projection. Many times we don’t know whether to stay or to go, or hang in there. In these dubious situations, if we want to grow and actually change, it can be worthwhile to stick it out in relationship and work on ourselves with rock bottom honesty, even if our partner doesn’t. Or if we do leave, we should still work on our stuff alone. This is the honesty that can save our lives.

Most relationships can be worked out, when both parties do the inner work. And this is the most valuable work, meaning that we should not quit a relationship just because it is tough and troublesome. But, this is not the scenario I have described above, which is to deny our deep true selves, which usually is riddled with lots of passive-aggressive sex and an impotency to follow what we know is right.

23 December 2014

The Slow Crash

I ran into the below 2009 cartoon while surfin' the web & had to share this. 

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The Slow Crash – by John Kinhart

Back in October 2009 cartoonist John Kinhart published this comic strip that had an outing then on The Oil Drum. I have used this extensively in my University teaching materials as it still manages to sum up the complexities of the energy and economic situation in a charmingly simple way, as poignant today as it was 5 years ago.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


At this juncture I think it is safe to say that $110 / bbl suited the producers, especially the high cost producers, much more than $60 / bbl. And that $60 / bbl suits the consumers much more than $110 / bbl ever did (all prices notionally in Brent that symbolically no longer exists as a major oil field). Consumers will eventually learn that there is not enough $60 oil to go round.
Roger and I are winding down for the holiday season. We will have a few small posts like this one over the next couple of weeks. We wish all our readers the very best for this Christian holiday season of massive consumption. We hope you are safe, well, with family and friends and have enough bread on your table in this increasingly fractured and polarised world that we live in.
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Original cartoon site: http://sorrycomics.blogspot.co.uk/2009/10/hubberts-peak.html