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| Brittany Maynard |
Today I read about Brittany Maynard (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPfe3rCcUeQ#t=235), a 29 yr old woman that had terminal brain cancer & was given 3-6 months to live when diagnosed. Can you imagine being 29 & knowing your life was virtually over before it had begun?
According to her family, Maynard had always been an adventuresome spirit & lived life to the hilt. She spent the last months of her life making the most of the time she had left. She traveled to Alaska, British Columbia and Yellowstone National Park with her loved ones and explored more local attractions like Olympic National Park in Washington. On Oct. 21, she and her family took a helicopter ride to the Grand Canyon, a place she'd been longing to see before she died. The following day she had her worst seizure & was reminded of what was in store for her medically, due to her tumor.
"Assisted suicide", or "Dying with Dignity" has always been of interest to me. I believe everyone should have this choice, especially if confronting a terminal illness. However apparently this, as many other personal decisions, are controversial issues & many other people do not agree that one should have the final say on issues that affect only them. (I was amazed at the reactions & responses on YouTube to Brittany's decision.)
The Dying with Dignity process is legal in Oregon (via the Oregon Death with Dignity Act), Washington (Washington Death with Dignity Act), Vermont (Patient Choice and Control at End of Life Act), and New Mexico.
Brittany made headlines around the world when she announced she intended to die, under Oregon's Death with Dignity Act, by taking a fatal dose of barbiturates, prescribed to her by a doctor, when her suffering became too great.
Brittany moved to Oregon with her husband, her mother, and her stepfather so she could have access to Oregon's Death with Dignity Act, which allows physicians to prescribe life-ending medication to certain terminally ill patients. She ended her life on 2 Nov.
I have a friend who is currently involved with watching his 87 yr old Mother decline. Today she is in the ICU ward of a local hospital, with no specific diagnosis. She is just weak & is her condition really that surprising? Many of us have been in similar situations, where someone close to you has actually embarked on the final stages of their lives. I believe this is one of the important opportunities in our lives-To witness & hopefully assist the loved one in a nurturing, positive manner in crossing over to their next phase.
My friend & I were talking about how other family members & friends are usual in the state of denial & avoid the issue of death when it comes to talking about or dealing with death. Some are more comfortable with the idea of death than others. I think if you have personally dealt with your own mortality, actually watched someone die or been exposed to the idea that death is indeed inevitable & not a bad experience, that death somehow easier to accept. Like assisting a loved pet or loved one during their final days. Isn't helping them die with dignity & as little pain & mental anguish as possible the last act of love we can show them?
I was privileged to be at my own Mother's bedside when she crossed over. This was a profound experience & one I will always treasure. We had said all we had to say to each other in the days leading up to this moment-but had always known this moment would most likely come, so had spent years discussing the particulars of how she wanted her death to play out. Somehow we both knew that THIS particular hospital stay was IT.
Her medical directive was filed with the hospital & Mom was very clear that no measures were to be taken to prolong her life. Mom was completely aware of what was happening until about two days before she died, even telling me that she was in & out of "another dimension" & that she realized she was dying. I am so very grateful that our last words to each other were "I love you".
When she was no longer communicative, I continued to talk to her, assuring her I was on this side & other family members were waiting for her on the other side, so she would not be alone when she was crossing over. When her last breath had passed, I was so very profoundly grateful to have shared this moment with her, realizing that this was a very meaningful lesson for me & a reminder that someday I too would make this exact journey.
How different this moment could have been! I've heard of people surrounding their loved one's death bed, weeping, swooning, basically having an emotional meltdown & upsetting everyone, including the dying individual. Not a positive experience for anyone, especially the one who is actually dying.
One could say that this momentous opportunity to assist the love one in having a good death & preparing for one's own demise was wasted on fear. I am so very glad that I discovered Elizabeth Kubler-Ross & her work with terminal patients. Her research was invaluable to me in aiding my Mom in her final earthly experience. One day, I'd like to volunteer to assist a hospice organization in doing whatever I can to help someone else have a peaceful death.
Death can be a horrendous event-not all die peacefully & without pain. But when one has the opportunity to witness & assist another fellow life traveller in their final journey, can we not learn & build from & on the moment?
I am very glad that Brittany's family supported her decision, thereby easing her mind to a great extent about leaving them behind. I can only hope that when my day comes that I can also transition peacefully, painlessly & with the full knowledge of the experience. And help others do the same.
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