Recently I have had to deliberately, with great effort & thought, disassociate myself from 3 people that meant something to me, two were quite significant & long standing in my life. This has been most difficult.
In various circumstances, these individuals have consistently made me feel like our relationships were not honest, mutually respectful or healthy. When someone brings out negative emotions every time you deal with them, isn't it time to do something to change the situation? Well I have come to learn that this involves setting boundaries.
I long ago came to the conclusion that trying to sit down & logically discuss these types of issues with the majority of people is a waste of time. Most are not open to any consideration of themselves. (I really try to work with this personally.) So how can one urge another to reconsider their attitude?
Last time I tried to do this, I was accused of trying to "control" someone. Needless to say, the conversation was not productive & nothing positive resulted. And the relationship withered on the vine. So I gave up. No more trying to talk to someone after multiple attempts.
I've also learned that the tears & years you give someone are never appreciated. As long as THEY are ok, the hell with you. Sad state of affairs when you think a relationship is worth working on but the other person could care less. So....where does that leave one?
Well seems to me that if they are unwilling to even consider improving the situation, you can't force them, so maybe they are really telling you just how (un)important you are!
I found a couple online sayings I thought were very good. I am going to burn these into my brain. Am sure that if I truly absorb what is being conveyed through these wise sayings, that I won't feel any guilt, realizing that THEY are EQUALLY responsible for the state of OUR relationship. Amazing how simplistic things can be, no?
